Hey Howdy Hello! How’s it hanging my friends? I re-read my post over and over yesterday, I sound a bit down? That’s because I am. I have a lot on my mind…
How do I even begin?
Now do not get me wrong, I should have nothing to complain about, I am healthy (as far as I am aware), I have all my limbs, I am alive, I have a loving family (bar my sister…that’s a whole other story that one!) I have a dog and I have running water and food etc etc I could go on. However, I’m a hormonal right now and whether it’s the chubby builder talking to me about his “missus” or someone handing me a tissue because I keep sniffing, I am in a bad mood and will stay that way until my head falls onto that pillow.
So, I have been waiting around two weeks for the most lovely lipsticks to arrive – I tell ya you should see them. OH WAIT.
TADA!
Now when I showed J (boyfriend) the purple one, lilac moon to be precise, the first thing he said was “OoOooh bit riskaaay” But I love it. I love make-up, I would say I am slowly becoming a make up addict – which is much better than my last addiction. (Wine gums). The products were forty five dollars from Gerrard Cosmetics which works out like £28.59 pence for all five (I didn’t work that out on my own). Now I have never bought from this company before and was a little apprehensive as whether to order from the US as I haven’t before but I love it!
The photo doesn’t do any justice if I’m being honest, but they’re lovely, creamy and you do not have to keep going over layer after layer for the colour to properly come out! Fantastic.
Anyway enough about my drool over make up I am certainly not an expert, I can barely apply it properly let alone do all the contours people do with their lips today. Christ. Now folks, this is where my title came from, WHY CAN’T I JUST BE A KARDASHIAN, where I can fall asleep and I have someone physically do it for me whilst I nap or munch on some kinder or watch my favourite programmes like Crime Watch ha! Their lives seem so easy, they shop, they work out, they attend events and they eat. Such a contrast to my life. I wake up, I complain to my Mum about either the following: I’m not losing weight (even though really that is self explanatory considering I think “ahh, done three sit ups, SWEETIE TIME” Then begin to devour on all the sugary treats I can get my paws on), I have a new spot on my nose, that I picked the spot on my nose and it’s all red, that the spot that I picked and made red is now impetigo, that Lucy (my sister) awoken me in the morning because she had a fit I wore her jeans the day before even though she’s a strong size four (UK) and I am a ten. BIG difference. Poor Mum. I’d hate to wake up to a me.
I then go downstairs say hello to Rommel, make sure he’s all good, grab my breakfast which usually consists of three rice cakes (low fat caramel ones – must buy!) a weight watchers yoghurt and a banana. I was trying to be healthier but I end up feeling sick after ten minutes of eating it.
My journey to work is literally down the road, but because of the pain in the arse school run Mums who think their little dear needs to be driven at the very front of the school building, means it takes me about 11 minutes. 10 on a good day. They literally indicate the very last moment then mount the curb to make sure their chubby child gets into school the best way they can. I lived far away from school, used to take me an hour to walk! Okay, slightly melodramatic, forty five minutes, but still! I carried a violin, a ruck sack and a P.E. bag! Oh god let’s not get into me and school….I shudder at the thought of my school photo. I looked like a boy. I am not even joking… I had a horrendous hair cut. I thought I looked the business. You see, layers were in, and I took it to the extreme. My mum cried when she saw me smiling at her with this boy hair cut, she screeched “What have you done!???”
Yep. That’s the bad boy. Wow. I used to have long hair down to my bottom. Ruined that one. I have a flat face, I legit look like I have been hit in the face with a frying pan.
I then get into work where the two blokes I work with seem to sweat at every moment of the day, so to be a great person to work with, I close the left open front door behind me because to be quite frank ITS FREEZING! I sound like such an arsehole.
I sat at my desk to find a note reading that my parcel couldn’t be delivered because I had to pay a handling fee!? HANDLING FEE? WHAT IS THIS. I paid enough for the lipsticks and I was meant to get FREE postage and packaging. WHAT IS THIS SHIT?! It annoyed me that much I think M and K (blokes I work with) got bored to tears of me going on about how I felt cheated, how LONG I have waited, how annoying it was and how it irritated me.
I need to lighten up.
I’m darkening up! I have been getting a few sun beds here and there (yes I know they’re bad) and I am loving this brown look I got going on, I go with J, however he comes out so so brown and I for some reason have a yellow-y complexion so come out more like a Simpson…Not a Kardashian.
My best friend Pete has finally become a qualified hairdresser woo! Bless his heart, it’s taken him long enough! Fun fact for ya. Pete is my age, we’ve been best friends for like 15 years now and he is my oldest and dearest friend. Although lately we keep having lovers tiffs when we’re drunk. ITS HIS FAULT. I won’t go into dramatic detail like I could and have to J, BUT, every time we go out he is over the top loud and rowdy – thats not the problem. It’s when we go to leave, we both get cash out as a ten minute journey in a taxi in the south costs us over thirty quid somehow!? We finally manage to grab a taxi (we literally charge at it and beg them) then when the man finally arrives at our destination, Pete, decides to either say he’s already paid when he hasn’t or pretends he’s lost it. He’s done it three times now. The first time he did it I was certain he didn’t pay and the taxi man was too (he is probably right as he is in fact sober) and so I pay more…. When we went into our friends house I checked his wallet where he said he had no cash and there was SIXTY FUCKING QUID. That was it me and him bickered away mumbling abuse to one another whilst walking single file up the stairs bashing into the walls and losing footing till we got into bed. The other time he said he’d “lost his money” to then find the next day when we went to Mcdonalds he had loads of cash! The liberty…We bicker like husband and wife. I love him to death but my gosh if we see too much of each other we know and like to wind each other up.
Anyway I am boring myself.
Thanks for reading speak tomorrow.
ITS FRIYAY TOMORROW WOOP WOOP
XOX
Just Nicole 